Life in Denim and Flip Flops

I don't know what was different about today, but I really struggled. A headache sidelined me for part of the day. Then I got hit with an overwhelming wave of sadness. And there were tears today. Definitely a crying jag. At some point today I moved past the point of being able to be angry. I just feel sick to my stomach again. Something I haven't dealt with since being on anxiety meds. I'm ok. I think everything just caught up to me today. Hoping sleep grants me some stress-free down time for my brain at least. My heart and stomach are going to need a bit more time I think.

View this post on Instagram I was craving sweets so I made homemade nutter butters from @hedygoldsmith’s Baking Out Loud cookbook. Only tweak was using Calico Bean Market’s butterscotch peanut butter. Absolutely fantastic. #baking #notjustbread A post shared by Becky (@msbeckiejean) on Mar 30, 2020 at 5:43pm PDT When my hands are idle, my mind is busy. But when my hands are busy, I can find a way to quiet my mind. Baking and cooking are one of the ways I do that. Now it's one of my signature hobbies and skills, but it wasn't always that way. I know for some people that's seems very weird, but in fact, about ten years ago I blogged about the very short list of recipes in my repertoire. Since then my cookbook collection has more than quadrupled, I eat at home or cook for myself like 6 days a week (even before social distancing), I handmake pasta, I've made my own ice cream, fried donuts from scratch, made my ...

I've never been good with change. I think that's putting it lightly. As anyone who has met me can tell you, I'm a type A control freak with a major worrying streak. I don't like when I can't predict what will happen. I don't like not knowing or having the ability to fix something. So as you might imagine, I'm kind of struggling with all this. I'm grateful now more than ever that I sought out professional help to deal with my generalized anxiety. Eight months ago I got on meds and found a therapist. But even with those tools, it's taken every trick I've learned over the past 20+ years of dealing with anxiety before I even knew to call it that to deal with the world and reality right now. I'm trying to take whatever this is right now one day at a time. I'm not even sure where to start one of the count of days of this. I'm not in quarantine; I'm not entirely working from home; My state isn't sheltering in place. We went fully...