Five years ago I was sitting in a graduate school classroom listening to professors introduce guest speakers. Tonight I was that guest speaker.
I never imagined I would be asked to talk in a library school course. Much less after just five years in the field. I'm still trying to wrap my head around that idea that tenure and previous experience do not make one an "expert" or an "experienced or seasoned" professional. I have always tied length of time to expertise somehow. I am just now learning that those don't have to be mutually exclusive.
In addition to speaking to a reader's advisory class about YA lit for adults (and some of my programming hits and misses), I also co-lead a 2-hour workshop discussion about instruction yesterday. Afterwards a colleague from another librarian came up to tell me that I did a good job. I thanked him for the compliment and didn't think twice about it. It's what you say after something like that. It's not that you don't mean it, you do, but it's just sort of an expected response. This morning, the same colleague found me to reiterate what he said yesterday and to tell me that he doesn't say that unless he means it. He followed with the comment that he really respects me and what I do and loves my creativity.
That comment sort of floored me. I don't know if it was the way he said respect or that it wasn't a compliment of my energy and creativity. I get the latter a lot. I'm bouncy and caffeinated and energetic. I know that. And sometimes the comments about that can come off as a bit condescending or as a "pat on the head" type comment. I am always gracious accepting those because I know that's just who I am and I refuse to change that. But that respecting me and what I do, there is no mistaking. It's the conscious effort and intention of mine he saw and liked and that really hit me.
I'm not sure when I turned that corner from student to teacher. From novice to 'expert.' But as I increasingly find myself on the other side of that line, I am both terrified and excited for what that might mean and what the future might hold.
I never imagined I would be asked to talk in a library school course. Much less after just five years in the field. I'm still trying to wrap my head around that idea that tenure and previous experience do not make one an "expert" or an "experienced or seasoned" professional. I have always tied length of time to expertise somehow. I am just now learning that those don't have to be mutually exclusive.
In addition to speaking to a reader's advisory class about YA lit for adults (and some of my programming hits and misses), I also co-lead a 2-hour workshop discussion about instruction yesterday. Afterwards a colleague from another librarian came up to tell me that I did a good job. I thanked him for the compliment and didn't think twice about it. It's what you say after something like that. It's not that you don't mean it, you do, but it's just sort of an expected response. This morning, the same colleague found me to reiterate what he said yesterday and to tell me that he doesn't say that unless he means it. He followed with the comment that he really respects me and what I do and loves my creativity.
That comment sort of floored me. I don't know if it was the way he said respect or that it wasn't a compliment of my energy and creativity. I get the latter a lot. I'm bouncy and caffeinated and energetic. I know that. And sometimes the comments about that can come off as a bit condescending or as a "pat on the head" type comment. I am always gracious accepting those because I know that's just who I am and I refuse to change that. But that respecting me and what I do, there is no mistaking. It's the conscious effort and intention of mine he saw and liked and that really hit me.
I'm not sure when I turned that corner from student to teacher. From novice to 'expert.' But as I increasingly find myself on the other side of that line, I am both terrified and excited for what that might mean and what the future might hold.
That is pretty awesome.
ReplyDeleteI've been a librarian for almost 9 years and I don't have the level of enthusiasm you have. I wish I did. You really seem to love your job and I have been sort of shuffled into my current position. One day I hope to move out and find something I love too.